Catherine Estelle Underwood

My grandmother passed away this morning. I'm still numb, really. She was the grand matriarch of the family, mother to 8 children, grandmother to 25, and great-grandmother to 13. Her family was the single most important thing to her and I am glad that she was surrounded by her loved ones today. She's not really gone, yet. I know that's odd to say, but it's true. They're keeping her alive long enough so they can take her liver for organ donation. She would have wanted that. One of her very closest friends was the liver reciepient from my uncle who passed away 15 years ago in a car accident. Since meeting Evelyn, my grandmother has been a champion for organ donation and I think it's only appropriate that her liver be the only organ that she is able to give. For one reason, because she took good care of it. She never had a drop of alcohol in her life. For a second reason, because she had such a bond with my uncle's recipient, it is only fitting. She would have wanted it that way.

It's so strange what the human mind thinks when they hear of a death for the first time. When we got the call from my Mom this morning, my first thought was, "I'm glad it's not my Dad." My second thought was, "I have to call work," because I had a meeting that morning. My last thought was "We don't have any Kleenexes." So I had John go to Food Lion to get me some. Odd.

*Sigh*.

Semantics.

Why is it that the English language does not have a word to describe someone that is more than a friend but not quite your boy/girlfriend? I find it interesting that there is nothing to describe this in-between state. Perhaps it is because society formed roles back in the stone age that said you either had to have a platonic relationship with someone or you had to be 100% committed to them. I wonder if other cultures have a word for this? In French, you are either an aime (friend) or a petite amie (girlfriend)--literally translated, small friend. When we get into the roles of marriage, the words are very clear: fiancé and husband. The world is very black and white. If you are separated from your husband, he’s still your husband until the papers are signed and then he becomes an “ex”. But there is still no word for the pre-boy/girlfriend stage of life that most of us either has or will experience.

Lyrics

Tonight my Mom came over to help me unpack. I must say, she was a huge help. The house is starting to come together. After working most of the day, we decided to watch The Phantom of the Opera. Awesome film. As we were watching, there was one song that I thought was particularly interesting-- "Masquerade". It reminded me of Billy Joel's, "The Stranger." I dug up the lyrics of both for comparison:

Masquerade

Masquerade!
Paper faces on parade . . .
Masquerade!
Hide your face,
so the world will
never find you!
Masquerade!
Every face a different shade . . .
Masquerade!
Look around -
there's another
mask behind you!
Flash of mauve . . .
Splash of puce . . .
Fool and king . . .
Ghoul and goose . . .
Green and black . . .
Queen and priest . . .
Trace of rouge . . .
Face of beast . . .
Faces . . .
Take your turn, take a ride
on the merry-go-round . . .
in an inhuman race . . .
Eye of gold . . .
Thigh of blue . . .
True is false . . .
Who is who . . .?
Curl of lip . . .
Swirl of gown . . .
Ace of hearts . . .
Face of clown . . .
Faces . . .
Drink it in, drink it up,
till you've drowned
in the light . . .
in the sound . . .

The Stranger

Well we all have a face
That we hide away forever
And we take them out and
Show ourselves
When everyone has gone
Some are satin some are steel
Some are silk and some are leather
They're the faces of the stranger
But we love to try them on

Well we all fall in love
But we disregard the danger
Though we share so many secrets
There are some we never tell
Why were you so surprised
That you never saw the stranger
Did you ever let your lover see
The stranger in yourself?

Random Quotes

As I was walking up the stair
I met a man who wasn't there.
He wasn't there again today.
I wish, I wish he'd stay away.
Hughes Mearns

Those who make peaceful revolution impossible will make violent revolution inevitable.
John F. Kennedy

Do not condemn the man that cannot think or act as fast as you can, because there was a time when you could not do things as well as you can today.
Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.

You have got to discover you, what you do, and trust it.
Barbra Streisand

Anyone who works is a fool. I don't work - I merely inflict myself upon the public.
Robert Morley

Courage is doing what you're afraid to do. There can be no courage unless you're scared.
Eddie Rickenbacker

You have to know how to accept rejection and reject acceptance.
Ray Bradbury

I've been trying for some time to develop a lifestyle that doesn't require my presence.
Gary Trudeau

Death ends a life, not a relationship.
Morrie Schwartz

A mind once stretched by a new idea never regains its original dimension.
Oliver Wendell Holmes Jr.

Only in quiet waters do things mirror themselves undistorted. Only in a quiet mind is adequate perception of the world.
Hans Margolius

I don't believe that life is supposed to make you feel good, or make you feel miserable either. Life is just supposed to make you feel.
Gloria Naylor

Let us be grateful to people who make us happy: They are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom.
Marcel Proust

The trouble with our times is that the future is not what it used to be.
Paul Valery

Costly thy habit [dress] as thy purse can buy; But not expressed in fancy - rich, not gaudy. For the apparel oft proclaims the man.
William Shakespeare

Click here for random quotes.

Bye, House.

Tomorrow we will no longer own our first house. Kinda sad.

Kissing Cousins.

I absolutely love having a big extended family. With my mom being the oldest of 8 children, I was lucky enough to grow up with 25 first cousins. Our summers and holidays were always spent with a million of us running around, playing and doing things that cousins do. I was born in the middle, so I have about the same amount of olders cousins as younger cousins. This was always an interesting position to be in because I always had cousins to look up to and cousins to be role models to.

One of my absolute favorite pictures taken was the one below. This was taken in the summer of 1983, when I was 4 years old. I'm the one in the green in the lower left.

Friends.

I can remember a while ago when I was in highschool, I was talking to my brother about friendships. I was telling him that I had a lot of good friends and I guess I was somewhat proud of that. During the course of that conversation he said, "You don't have any good friends unless you can call one of them at 3:00 AM and ask them to get out of bed and drive to help you change a tire." I remember thinking about that long and hard and I remember thinking at the time that not one single one of my "good friends" would have been willing to do that.

Since then, I have thought about that statement a lot and as silly as it seems, I think he really does have a point. His point was, a true friend is willing to completely inconvienance themselves for you because you are in need. I have often wondered not only who would do that for me, but who I would be willing to do that FOR. I've even thought of things such as, "Well, if I had a big meeting the next morning, I probably would only do it for XYZ, but if it was a weekend, then I'd definatly do it for ABC."

My brother probably never remembers saying this to me, but for me, this has been something that has stuck with me for the past 10 years or so. I think perhaps my greatest fear is that one day, I won't have anyone to help me at 3:00 AM-- and I will be devastated not for the lack of help, but for the lack of friends.

I before E except after W

I hate that I can never spell the word weird.

Yes, I'm Crazy.

Ok, so I have exactly 14 days until the big move to the new house. Have we started packing at all? Nooooo! I'm really not sure how I'm going to pack up an entire house in less than two weeks, but I know we will get it done. We always do.

So in order to fill up all my "free time", being the crazy person I am, I agreed to make a birthday cake for a 1 year old's birthday party tomorrow. I've just finished, the kitchen is covered in cake crumbs, frosting, fondant, white chocolate and powdered sugar and here I am writing in my blog instead of cleaning the mess up and/or packing.

Here is the fruit of my labor: