Ode to Dawson's Creek (thanks, Rob)

Withering, torrid, tormented soul floating through life just

waiting for the moment

when clarity

will be obtained. Craning neck trying to peek around the next corner knowing that

whatever is next must be better than

what is.

With each step into the future, tears are shed for the past as

whatever is now can never be as good as

what was, and yet

what has not become is

what is

wanted most. Each new discovery is an adventure to be conquered and

with each heartbreak, the end of the

world. Sappy music to cry to as a soundtrack to off balance hormones,

whispers to ignore in a hallway of divas

while trying to master seven subjects in an eight hour day. And still,

what I

wouldn’t give to be fifteen again.

What are you when you're in the bathroom?

European! At least that's what I paid National Geographic $100 to tell me.

Apparently, my DNA results are back and my maternal lineage is from Europe, a part of hapologroup "W". This group makes up 10% of the world's population. I would post more, but I'm late for work. In the meantime, let this graphic representation of my maternal lineage satiate you.

One step closer...

Well, my DNA kit is in the final stages of being evaluated by National Geographic's third party lab. In a week or so, I should be able to find out where my mother's ancestors originally lived thousands of years ago. I will not be able to track my Dad's side unless I have a "Y" chromosome to test, so I may have to sucker my brothers or my Dad into giving up some cheek skin in the name of science.

I'll be sure to post my results when I get them!

Small Mishap.

For the Bibliophile.

http://www.librarything.com

Conference

I just got back from Atlanta, GA on Thursday. I went down there for a security conference. It's basically an organization that promotes security awareness and education. Once I got back from the conference, I decided to spice up our chapter's site a little bit and have spent the majority of the day working on it.

Free Dog!

So uh -- anyone want a dog? I've got this really cute one that I'll give up for free. He's perfect in everyway except he barks at EVERY GOSH DARN THING IN THE WORLD WHEN YOU TRY TO WALK HIM. We've tried choke collars, "gentle leaders", trainers, treats, psychology, and I've read 2 books. So far, NOTHING WORKS.

I know they turn bad horses into dog food -- can they turn bad dogs into horse food?

Meet Bailey

This weekend, John and I picked up our new pooch, Bailey. We rescued him from Howard County Animal Shelter, in the depths of scary Maryland. So far, he's been really good with a few minor issues. He knows "sit", "down", "come", "stay" (sometimes), "out" (to drop a toy) and he's pretty good on leash. He's housebroken, crate trained (with coaxing), is great with kids, and doesn't bark. Sounds like a dream come true eh?

He is very HYPER. If we do not walk him and play with him a lot to tire him out, I can forsee him being a handful. But we've been doing pretty well with it so far (granted, it's only day 3). He has an interest in our cat, Dawn, but doesn't chase her or bark when he sees her. Our big task will be getting her to tolerate him.

He also goes ballistic around other dogs. I am enrolling him in a behavior class, so hopefully that will get better. Because we have so many friends with dogs, I want them to be able to play and get along.

New Addition.

If all goes well with the approval, John and I will be adopting this cute little guy sometime this week! We went up to Columbia, Maryland tonight to meet him and we really fell in love at first sight. He's cute, smart, sweet and just all around lovable. We're trying to think of a name, so any suggestions are welcomed! The shelter has dubbed him "Rudy" but we're looking for something with more piazzas.

Growing Up.

As a child, I always envisioned adults as these demi-gods that could do no wrong. Every word that came out of my parents’ and older siblings’ mouths were gospel. I can remember one time asking my mother why we had to say prayers before each meal. She responded, “So you won’t choke on your food.” As a child, I truly believed that was the reason and diligently said my prayers.

A few months later, my father went on the Optifast program—it was a fad at the time, mainly because Oprah did it. For 3 meals a day for 6 months, Dad had to drink milkshakes. Kind of like Slimfast on steroids. I can remember sitting around the dinner table, all of us with plates of food and my Dad with his sole milkshake. Right before we started to pray I asked, “Why is Dad praying? He can’t choke on a milkshake!” Everyone laughed and I couldn’t understand why. In my own mind, I had asked a legitimate question! I think I was 20 or so when I actually realized you prayed before meals to THANK God for the food – not to save yourself from the Heimlich.

So after I moved out on my own, I slowly began to realize a lot of things that my parents told me were just plain bogus. Granted, they had their reasons for most of it, but it was certainly an eye opener for me to start to realize that my parents were not the smartest people in the world. Then my niece and nephew entered the world and it became even more apparent that parents are just winging it most of the time. It also amazed me to watch them repeat everything my sister said and did. I know we are preprogrammed to be brainwashed by our parents – it is nature’s defense mechanism. If we did not absorb so quickly, how would we learn how to walk, talk and function in society? Although, my niece is quite observant. Just a few weeks ago she said to my father, “You have four children and Michelle is the smartest.” Ha! Gotta love her.

Soon after realizing parents are well intentioned imperfect people, I entered the workforce and became another worker bee in the big cubicle hive gleaning all I could from my boss, the Queen. She knew all and was never wrong. I learned just about everything I know about management from her. She was a perfect supervisor, awesome mentor and friend. Now that I am a manager myself, I am beginning to realize that half of the time, my boss was probably winging it—as were my parents, and as am I. I am often asked many questions a day from my 3 employees and I have to make quick decisions. Decisions that could impact people’s clearances, jobs and lives. It’s quite a scary thought that this responsibility has been entrusted in a 27 year old that thinks you don’t have to pray before drinking milkshakes.

I really didn’t have a point to this when I started writing it. Except maybe that I’m having a bit of a reality check being in lower management. It’s weird when employees ask me if it’s ok if they have the day off. Half the time I think to myself, “Why are they asking me?” The other half of the time I’m thinking, “Holy crap, they’re asking ME!” I’m sure this will all wear off in no time and 20 years from now when I’m CEO of a mega conglomerate, I’ll wonder how I ever second guessed myself as a management fledgling.

Way Cool.

I just ordered my DNA kit -- get yours here and participate in this once in a lifetime oppourtunity!

Ew.

While reading my Popular Science magazine, I came accross this exhibit called Body Worlds. Apparently, this place takes REAL bodies and plastifies them -- then puts them on display. They have over 200 bodies right now, and a waiting list of donors! Gross -- but yet, eerily interesting.

Very Cool.

This guy is making the news all over the world. What would you trade?

Elizabethtown.

Great flick. If you haven't seen it already, you must.

I Don't Think Wiley Liked My Gift.

Or Else.

Found.

Discovered this site while reading the Post Secret site. Turns out, PostSecret and Found are pairing up in Old Town for a short PS flick and some live music. Sounds like fun... who wants to come with me?

Is There Still Hope...?

Maybe AD fans don't have to look like this after all? More info here.

SLUM CREW 19

From Friday night June 9th, 2006 through Sunday afternoon, June 11th, 2006 you will escape from the routine to join us for a leisurely weekend of canoeing, camping and partying. This is always a great time as we celebrate the greatest outdoor weekend party we started back in 1988. See below how it all works and directions. (Please read this entire e-mail.)

Cost: $75 per person (includes a spot in a canoe, use of the campsite, and a custom-made T-Shirt)

You may still invite others, but please confirm your attendance and better yet, please send me the $ so I know you're definitely going.

PLEASE CONFIRM YOUR ATTENDANCE BY REPLYING TO THIS E-MAIL AND LET ME KNOW IF YOU NEED A SPOT IN A TENT. PLEASE FORWARD THIS TO ANYONE WHO MIGHT BE SERIOUSLY INTERESTED. I NEED TO KNOW WHO'S GOING ASAP.

This canoe trip is way too much fun. Come along.

Thanks everyone,

Karsten "Milk" Kinzer

When: Friday night, June 9th, 2006 to Sunday, June 11, 2006 (late afternoon)

Where: South Fork of the Shenandoah River between Luray and Front Royal, Virginia

What: Two days of canoeing (Sat and Sun.)(2 people per canoe) and two nights (Friday and Saturday nights) at the Compton Campground plus an Official Slum Crew T-shirt to commemorate this historic event. We camp next to the cars so there is no hiking and you can bring more stuff.

Cost: $75 PER PERSON. Make checks out to me, Karsten Kinzer. This includes your spot in the canoe, the use of the campsite and the T-shirt. Food and drink are NOT included.

THIS IS A RAIN OR SHINE EVENT!!! (If it does rain, it usually doesn't rain for long.) HOW IT ALL WORKS:

We are assembling at the Compton Campground (a.k.a. Golden Rock Campground) Friday afternoon or night (arrive when you can-directions follow). Carpool as best you can. It takes about an hour and a half to get there from Northern Virginia. This is a rain or shine event, so no matter what the weather conditions, we'll be there (unless you hear from me.) Weather conditions can change quickly in the mountains. We'll be prepared at the campsite for any weather.

The campground is located along the banks of the South Fork of the Shenandoah River and is equipped with Don's Jons, a fresh water pump, picnic tables and fire pits (no showers). We will set up camp Friday night near the cars. With that in mind, don't worry about compacting your gear for hiking and such. Bring any and all amenities you think you might want. There will be some community tents to sleep in, but make sure you have space in a tent. Those who have room in tents or tents to share, please make them available to those who don't have tent space. Let me know if you need tent space. THERE WILL BE KEGS OF BEER IN CAMP FOR THOSE WHO WISH TO JOIN US IN GETTING OUR DRINK ON FRIDAY NIGHT.

On Saturday morning, we will be outfitted with lifejackets and paddles and then taken by bus up-river about ten miles. All personal gear will be left at the campsite except what is needed on the river such as suntan lotion, food and plenty of beverages, first-aid kit, etc. Depending on the number of canoes we rent, there will be designated bar canoes we will outfit. These bar canoes will hold all beverages, food, trash, and anything you don't want to get wet. Remember which bar canoe has your stuff. There will be NO GLASS containers of any kind on the river. We will canoe about 5-6 hours Saturday depending on the river level. The river is quite tame (except for one class two rapid at the campsite), but it is strong, moving water, so please take that into consideration. Always keep your footwear and your lifejacket on when canoeing or swimming. If it is sunny, please wear suntan lotion as you can burn very quickly. We finish Saturday back at the same campsite we stayed at Friday night.

On Sunday morning, we set off from the campsite and canoe another exciting seven miles to the Low Water Bridge at Bentonville. Sunday canoeing is shorter than Saturday, but is more eventful. The canoe company will then bus us back up to the Golden Rock Campground. We should be finished Sunday in the late afternoon.

WHAT TO BRING:

* First-Aid Kit
* Suntan lotion
* An old pair of sneakers (river rocks are sharp) - AN ABSOLUTE MUST
* Bug repellent
* Swim suit
* Drinking water or drinks both at camp and on the river. (No Glass Containers)
* FOOD!!! NO FOOD OR DRINK (EXCEPT KEGS) WILL BE PROVIDED. THERE IS A CAMPFIRE PIT THERE FOR COOKING AND GRILLING. BRING FOOD FOR THE RIVER AS WELL.

* Toilet paper
* Rain coat or poncho
* Change of clothes for the campsite including a dry pair of shoes
* Tent (if you have one). If you have more than one tent, please bring it. If we don't need it, we won't use it.
* Sleeping bag or blankets (a pillow is a nice addition)
* Large coolers (if you have them)
* Flashlight

DIRECTIONS:

From Washington D.C.:
- Follow Interstate 66 West off the Beltway for 54 miles to the first Front Royal exit (exit 13). Exit here.

- At the stop sign, turn left.

- Go under I66 and turn right on 55 West into Front Royal.

- Keep going straight (past McDonald's on right) to a "T" intersection (3rd traffic light).

- Turn left on to route 340 South and follow it about 14 miles through the town of Bentonville.

- After about 14 miles, at the bottom of a large hill, turn right onto a dirt road just before a small bridge over a river called Compton. Do NOT cross the bridge. There is a very large, 1/4 mile long active train trestle traversing over the campsite here.

- Proceed slowly down the dirt road as this road is rather bumpy.

- At the bottom of the dirt road, turn LEFT and park where you can. Locate us rowdy folk and we'll help you find a place to pitch your tents.

CELL PHONES WILL PROBABLY NOT WORK AT THE CAMPGROUND.