Kirby (not the pink kind)

OMG. I have just sat through the most painful experience of my life. Around 8:00, a guy in a shirt and tie and tennis shoes rings our doorbell with a roll of Bounty paper towels. He hands them to John and says, "Can I show you something real quick?" John says, "Sure." 15 minutes later this dude shows up with armfuls and boxes of Kirby vacuum cleaner parts. At first he said, "I'll just be a few minutes." We made small talk while he pulled cat hair out of my sofa, dust mite poop out of my mattress and poured an entire bottle of morton's salt into my carpet just to show me how well it could be vacuumed back out. He told me that he "didn't need to sell me anything because he gets paid no matter what."

Around 9:00, he went into our basement and proceeded to carpet shampoo this nasty stain that had been there for about 6 months. When he saw how pleased we were with the stain being gone, he started to turn on the Kirby charm. First, he said he needed to sell 2 more this month because he wanted to win a contest to a football game. I told him that I'd rather buy him a ticket to see the Redskins play than pay $1800 for a vacuum. Then he told us that he'd give us the vacuum for $1400 if we gave him our Dyson. When he saw I wouldn't budge on that, he offered me a "previously loved" version for $1000. I told him he'd have to ask John. John stood firm and said no, $1000 was too much. Then he said that he was going to "call his boss." Of course, the "boss" was not there... so he spoke with a sales associate that said the "boss was right next to him" and the "boss" gave him permission to give us a BRAND NEW Kirby for $1000. Gee, thanks. We said no, so the guy told us he was going to try and find the boss. I said, "I though the boss was right next to the guy on the phone?" He goes, "Oh. Uh--the guy on the phone lied." Brilliant.

Well, to make a long story short, the guy ended up leaving around 10:30 without selling us a vacuum. I immediately set the alarm system in case the guy wanted to come back uninvited. I also am the highest bidder on eBay right now at $105 for a brand new Kirby. :)

On a side note, here is a picture of my Uncle "Charlie Buck" trying to sell this wonderful product 50 years ago. My Mom is in the green and white shirt.